Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
