Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
