Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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