Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
