omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We had to coat check the pizza.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
