I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I am available for nakedness
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
