return my video game
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
