I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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