Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
