what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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