dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
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just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize