i think my mom watched the whole time
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
