The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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