so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
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My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
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There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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