on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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