Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
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don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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