Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize