things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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