have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
