i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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