I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
