WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
tell me about the eggs
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