I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
