He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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