I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
