Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
