I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I think people are normalizing furries
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
