Is it because I queefed?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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