I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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