I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize