Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
