No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize