What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
