she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
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