one might say we're banned from that church
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
