worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
