wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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