You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I need water and some morals
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
