I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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