accomplished twins. life is a go
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
