end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I forget how to act sober
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
