non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize