very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
