Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just cropdusted the office
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
