Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
