In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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