i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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