this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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