i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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