Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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