the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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