why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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