i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
