Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
