she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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