I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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