It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
