I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's shark week go big or go home
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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