Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Randomize
