Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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