sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
